why self-expression matters

he’s dying … does that mean he gets a pass?

He’s dying, is a line from the movie Kodachrome – film on Netflix. The line implies that even through he was a difficult person you should put that aside and spend time with him.

If family relationships weren’t so challenging, and if we didn’t have such a difficult time talking about and preparing for death, spending time with a dying family member might not be a big ask.  Sadly, however, they are, and we do. In Kodachrome, Matt Ryder reluctantly drives his dying father, to whom Matt hasn’t spoken in ten years, across the country to the last photo shop in America that can still process the father’s decades-old rolls of undeveloped Kodachrome film.

Kodachrome

Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity” – Pema Chodron


Being stuck with the pain of not having the relationship you wanted may keep you from being in the relationship that’s available.  We get to choose.

The set-up from WikipediaMatt Ryder is an A&R representative at a record label who is in danger of losing his job after his company’s biggest client signs with another label. His father’s assistant and nurse Zooey Kern arrives at his office and informs him that his father Ben, a famous photographer, is terminally ill. Though they have not spoken in over ten years, Ben has requested that Matt drive him to Dwayne’s Photo in Parsons, Kansas, the last shop that still develops Kodachrome film. Ben has several undeveloped rolls he wants to have processed before he dies, and Dwayne’s will stop in the near future because Kodak no longer makes the required dyes.


you don’t choose a life – you live one

The Way

After learning his son, Daniel has died while on a pilgrimage along The Camino de Santiago, his father, Dr Thomas Avery (Martin Sheen) travels to the infamous and historical trail. The grief-stricken father hopes to find peace and understanding along the way. (Daniel is played by Emilio Estevez who also wrote, directed and produced The Way)

Dia de los Muertos, how we become get comfortable death?

The short answer to how we become comfortable with death is hongrave stones at local cemetery during day of the deadoring those that have died. Though art, music, writing, film or simply showing up every day and being present.

The day of the dead is celebrated in many cultures.They have  created rituals and celebrations to honor those that have died.Skull for dia de los muertos Día de los Muertos the Day of the Dead is the Mexican celebration of those that have gone before.  What I find important is being comfortable with the past and being able to talk and celebrate with such an artful approach.  Examples of expressing and honoring the dead are though making  alters, paintings, costumes photography and films such as Coco.

Find the expression that suits you.

 

 

Tis a Fearful Thing

Tis a fearful thing
to love what death can touch.
A fearful thing
to love, to hope, to dream, to be –
to be,
And oh, to lose.
A thing for fools, this,
And a holy thing,
a holy thing
to love.
For your life has lived in me,
your laugh once lifted me,
your word was gift to me.
To remember this brings painful joy.
‘Tis a human thing, love,
a holy thing, to love
what death has touched.”
Yehuda HaLevi

Godless interview on Fresh Air with Terry Gross

from Wikipedia – Godless is an American television drama mini-series created by Scott Frank for Netflix.[1] The seven-episode limited series began production in Santa Fe, New Mexico in September 2016, and was released on Netflix globally on November 22, 2017.

The ebb and flow of Life

If you have missed This is Us – unresolved grief and loss is an underling theme that runs through the series.

from wikipedia The series follows the lives of siblings Kevin, Kate, and Randall (known as the “Big Three”), and their parents Jack and Rebecca Pearson. It takes place in the present and using flashbacks, at various times in the past. Kevin and Kate are the two surviving members of a triplet pregnancy, born six weeks premature on Jack’s 36th birthday in 1980; their brother is stillborn. Believing they were meant to have three children, Jack and Rebecca, who are white, decide to adopt Randall, a black child born the same day and brought to the same hospital after his biological father abandoned him at a fire station. Jack dies when his children are 17.

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