Entering the Belly
How did hell find me? Did I voluntarily walk right into hell? Did I invite myself to be in hell?
I don’t know the answer to these questions but I’ve ended up Entering the Belly. Which is the third section from my work Inside the Belly of the Whale. (The first and second sections are also on this blog – Blue Dream and Taking a Long Breath)
I don’t think going to hell is a once in a life time event, I believe that we can return several times in a life time but as Dante Alighieri suggests there are levels.
Throughout literature, the whale has been visited many times. The few I know of are, Jonah – Old Testament bible story, Moby Dick, Pinocchio, and Finding Nemo.
In each of these stories, the hero is stuck. They may receive divine intervention or just physical motion that gets them out, or they may need to live side by side with the whale, Moby Dick. Each of these options seems to be a paradox.
Acknowledging the pain and hurt that brought me to Inside the Belly of the Whale and out again. Each trip has been my guide.
the mess and slowness of staying on my own path
If I walk along and an obstacle is in my way I have a few choices.
I can stand there and wait for the obstacle to “go away”, or take another route, maybe climb over it, or maybe dismantle it. The path is messy and slow and it’s hard to stay interested in the task of dealing with the obstacle.
We also have the choice of walking away, but it’s really hard to walk away, if the obstacle is ourself.
The Real Work
It may be that when we no longer know what to do
we have come to our real work,
and that when we no longer know which way to go
we have come to our real journey.
The mind that is not baffled is not employed.
The impeded stream is the one that sings. Wendell Berry
my tightly wound Ball
I have a tightly wound ball of worry right in the middle of my chest.
My tightly wound, the ball makes me feel like I have control.
But also restricts my breath and thus my spirit.
What if I change the shape of this festering ball?
What if I start at the center and unravel it?
What would it take to cut the ball into pieces so small they would dissolve
and fade away with no effort of my own?
I might start by trusting the process just a bit more.
“Letting there be room for not knowing is the most important thing of all.” – Pema Chödrön
beautiful light can change our perspective
Beautiful light won’t bring these flower back to life but the light changes the perspective of how I see this bouquet of dead flowers.
changing your perspective can change your opinion
As we welcome back the light with the winter solstice we have the opportunity to observe and change our perceptive just a bit, as we step into the new year.
People are not disturbed by things, but by the view they take of them ~ Epictetus
In winter everything appears dead
During the winter where I live, the light is beautiful but there isn’t enough of it.
nature is does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished – Lao Tzu
The colors of nature are all earth tones and it seems like we’re encouraged to use this time be quiet and reflective, more this year than any other.
But there’s a pull to be festive and flashy and always a certain amount of pressure to get into the holiday spirit. So, the colors that are all around us are, fire engine red and forest green and bright shiny silver, those colors are so full of energy.energy that personally I don’t have right now.
I’ll take my lead from nature, and practice pausing and allowing to restore and appreciate the beauty of the trees without leaves.